My dear friend, Beth, from college has experienced so many tragedies that I often wonder how she retains her sense of humor and goodwill. She never ceases to amaze me. After reading about Heather's trials with her ex husband, Beth shared a very personal story with me about her beloved brother, Mark. Mark adored our Beth and for good reason. She was the apple of her brother's eye and justly so.
After reading Beth's personal account concerning Mark, I asked her if I could post this very important story as to help others. As always, Beth was there in a heartbeat willing to help others, despite the loss of her beloved brother. She is so much like me, wanting to help others. Beth decided to amend her story, so that you would fully understand. You won't believe your eyes after reading this.
Hi Marge,
Yes, you can put this on your blog...but I did a touch up since people might not follow not knowing the background...if you want, go ahead and use it.
Ciao, Beth
Following Heather's story, I recently wrote Marge telling her a story that happened while my brother was in the hospital fighting for his life. She asked me if she could put it on her blog, but I thought the readers might find it easier to follow if I reworded it since the way I wrote it to Marge was taking into account that she knew my brother personally and knew the story behind the story. So here is a "revised edition" for those who care to read.
I told Marge that her blog has really been of help to many people and that she has become the "Marge Landers" for Wegener's and PH on-line. The situation with Heather's ex brings to light that part of our society that really focuses on egocentric behavior and the idea that only "I" exist. Who cares if you hurt those around you as long as you make your way to the top or get something financially out of it all.
Back in 1999, my brother (40 years old at the time) was diagnosed with Acute Mylogenous leukemia. He had been down in Costa Rica for a few months after years of working himself to death, met a Costa Rican girl, who he later married, and then fell ill. At first they thought it was some sort of tropical illness, but when he headed back home, they found that it was leukemia. This kind of rang warning bells in our family as my father died of chronic lymphocytic leukemia nearly 30 years earlier. Our family gathered from far and wide to try and support my brother through all of this. Friends also gathered to be of support...but during these moments, you can see both the best and worse of people, and I told Marge about one case in point.
While my brother was fighting for his life, he was under the care of some really special people. Unfortunately, among those very good, capable and giving people there was a rotten apple. A girl who was working as a nurse's aide (at least that is what I believe her title was) started becoming very friendly with my brother. Mind you, they had given my brother only a 20% chance of winning this war, so it didn't look good for him. She would go into his room and cry about not having things for her kids, etc. (To me she was praying on the attentions of a dying man, hoping to get something out of his death)
After my brother was released, she kept calling my mother's house asking for my brother, until she finally tired him out and he ended up lending her the $3,000 she said she needed for her kids Christmas presents. OK, if that were really the case, my brother would have been the first to "give" it to her, not lend it, because that is just the kind of person he was...but he knew better. A few months later, his situation took the final turn towards terminal....6-8 weeks. He asked her to sign a paper, in good faith, stating that she would give the money back to my mother, in installments, in the event he should pass away. She disappeared off the radar and refused to talk to him. It was eating him alive. He had already been "screwed" out of money, and a good sum at that, by somebody he truly believed to be a good friend. That person never once phoned him after he was diagnosed! He would have told his "good" friend to forget about paying back, but rather than chance it..."the good friend" stuck her head in the sand and pretended never to know my brother. That was already a kick in the stomach...then this nurse's aide started playing mind games with him. I saw him suffer so much for the way he was being taken advantage of...and it didn't help his state of mind one bit.
He decided he wanted to go back to Costa Rica with his wife one more time before he passed away, so he left, and I was home in the States at my mother's house for another few days. I asked our friend Jaci if she could help draw up something for that girl to sign, guaranteeing repayment (more for Mark's state of mind and proof that she was harassing terminally ill patients than for repayment. I knew full well we'd never get that money back, but I felt it was unfair that somebody like that should be in a position working with terminally ill people. What would stop her from doing it to another person. She hurt my brother enough...it had to stop there.) Once Jaci got me that paper, I went to a beautiful person, a nurse who was so good to us and to my brother, and explained everything. I wanted her to witness this girl signing the paper, which she did. Once my brother came back from Costa Rica and was back in the hospital for "pain control" (it was too late to do anything else...his time was up), she pulled him aside and asked him to tell the head nurse since she (our friend the nurse) couldn't do anything personally, and she impressed on him how this person had taken advantage of him and it shouldn't happen again with another terminally ill patient. Long story short...the girl was fired that day and awhile later was in jail for possession of drugs...something I think my brother knew about and thus his hesitation in giving her money in the first place. She also lost custody of her kids. Sad story...but throughout all this, there were so many beautiful people supporting us and coming out in small ways.
Moral of the story: there are some really rotten apples out in this world, and they tend to drain our energy resources. I've found that the best medicine is to surround yourself with the good apples...there are lot of them out there, but often we just don't see it until we are in dire straits ourselves.
My Beth is just as poignant as can be. Her love for her brother superseded everything. She sought justice and in the end, she succeeded on behalf of her brother, Mark and others, who were and are terminally ill. Beth, as always, you do your brother proud! Beth is so correct in saying how special Mark was. He would and he did give his shirt right off his back to those in need. A truly remarkable individual with the biggest heart that you can imagine.
May you never experience this type of "care" in your life, especially when you are terminally ill.
Beth, your heart has always been in the right place and I admire you greatly for this. You are your brother's keeper and a devoted one at that. He couldn't have asked for, nor wished for a better sister than you. Ditto that on our friendship. Love you much and your wisdom shines in my heart.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment