E.R. Visit at Midnight!

I called our local E.R. to ask the Dr. about my UTI. I needed to be seen by the Dr. in order to be dx and then receive a tx. If you can decipher all of that, then you now have a new career, medical transcriptionist.

I knew that I needed meds. to take on the beginnings of an urinary track infection as it would turn into a full blooming extravaganza of pain and the need to go to the bathroom every minute and fifty-eight seconds. Can you tell that I've timed my facilities visit? I've never experienced the joy and PAIN of giving birth, but a UTI is enough to make me think, glad I missed that birthing process along life's highway. An UTI not taken care of can render this gal grumpy, testy, flat out miserable.

So, I called Albany Med. to confer with the doctor on duty, who knew of me. I asked him if I knew him face-to-face and he thought not, though he had seen me with Dr. Beegle in the clinic-a medical one, not a rehab. one. He said he couldn't call upon my Dr. Beegle because he is on vacation. I can imagine that Dr. Beegle would just love to hear about my urinary troubles as he is soaking up the sun and frolicking in the ocean water with his three adorable daughters. They are not allowed in the water, unless their papa is in there, too. It's a family rule. I know, I need to get off that water topic.

My stand-by doctor confirmed that I should go off to the E.R. to receive meds. So, I woke up Mom and off we went to see the Wizard of Oz. We took my insurance card, my med. lists and my oxygen, of course. The nurse was going to hand write my list. I told her that she would get writer's cramp and it would be easier to make a copy. She agreed after visually scanning my med. list.

Dr. Oz came in and tapped me on the back for all of two minutes. This time, Mom was clock watching as she determined the amount of money he was raking in. Meanwhile, the nurse soon appeared to give me Bactrim, which is a drug that fights infections. I already take this and I stated to the nurse that this wouldn't work out, even if it was more dosages. But, I couldn't remember what Dr. Beegle gave me exactly, since I had escaped the wrath of UTI for some time.

So, I told the nurse to please call Albany Med. and the doctor there would discuss my situation with the doctor here. She left the room to consult with Dr. OZ as I used my cellphone to call back the doctor in Albany to determine what I should be taking. But as always, I had to wait for his return call.

Meanwhile, the nurse returned with a fist full of prescriptions-Cipro for the UTI and some meds. for my bladder. I suspect my lower back pain came about from his thumping on my lower back. Well, if you don't have pain there now from the UTI, you will now.

With paperwork in hand, Mom and I left to return home. After ten minutes of being home, the phone rings and it is my Albany fellow calling me back. I explained the whole situation of the Bactrim, but they hadn't given me any Cipro. Well, he didn't think this was a good idea. I needed the Cipro to get a jump start on the UTI. He said he would speak with Dr. OZ if need be.

So, back to the phone I go and I receive the nurse, Tanya, who has been delivering my messages to the E.R. doctor. She informs me that no, my mom can not show up to pick up one pill of Cipro that I must, in fact, return to the E.R. By now, it is almost two in the morning and my sense of attitude was starting to kick in. I felt bad that I had awaken my mom with all my medical troubles to begin with, but now, we had to go into oxygen tank mode and reappear at the scene of the original debacle.

I emphasized my unhappiness with Dr. Oz not calling the doctor at Albany Med. as I requested them to do. That they were, in fact, not making me any too happy. My mom reprimanded me for being testy on the phone. When Mom speaks, I listen. She was right of course and upon arrival at the E.R., I once again reiterated my apologies for being like Garfield.

Since I am a "difficult" case, I pretty much know what needs to be done. But do they listen?!! Heck,no. Well, our midnight foray turned into a soap opera drama that could only happen to us.

Missing top, illusive cellphone and visit to our local E.R. all in twenty-four hours. Now, Ed, our pharmacist will be dolling out more pills to this Queen of Drugs. Probably, Nurse Tanya and Dr. Oz would like to give me a few select pills-no whining allowed pills. I suspect Dr. Oz has never had an UTI before as it typically "graces" we women, nor has he given birth. Oh, what Dr. Oz is missing!!

May your Dr. OZ listen to what you have to say and follow through, instead of tapping you on the back and sending you on your way.

Heads Up on Toilet Seats Down!

The mishap of a missing cellphone, once again, came to roost chez Tiffanys today. Colleen, a lovely young lady e-mailed to tell me of her very own dilemma with her cellphone that recently occurred. While in the bathroom stall, her cellphone took a dive into the toilet causing it to be waterlogged. Apparently, these modern communicators are not water proof. I can't imagine how Colleen rescued and retrieved that cellphone. No doubt, it was in need of some CPR. However, I did not ask about the details, figuring that was way too much information for me to take in.

Colleen went on to state that she, herself, did not have the answer to my million dollar question-if you have no pockets, where can you put your cellphone to secure it, without leaving it behind. But, when she figured it out, she would let me know. Well, after hearing this story, I immediately came up with a plan. This was high security alert, just like our homeland security. But instead, it is cellphone security while in the privy. I realize this may be privy to only us-but a necessary plan is a must, because I don't know how to rescue a cellphone that is floating in the john. So, my plan includes the following: keep my cellphone securely affixed in my bra and I will not be bending over to flush the toilet, but instead, I shall use my foot to flush. Now, picture me with a cannula in my nose, an oxygen tank in tow in that small stall and a cellphone neatly tucked into my bra. If that doesn't make you laugh, then I shall have to go back to the drawing board.

My cellphone security advisor, Aunt Bea, approved of my red color alert with gusto. If she approves,all is well. So, if any of you need approval, just call Aunt Bea at 1-800-Bea-Help. She has the ability to solve all sorts of problems. She is a trouble shooter of the highest caliber. We almost had to call her in today, when my sister, Helen's cellphone went missing along with my mom's pajama top. I told Mom that she was not allowed to go topless, despite losing it somehow. Come to find out, instead of the four piece set that my sister just bought her, it accidently was packaged as a three piece set sans the tank top portion. So, what is a girl to do without her matching top? Mom called Kohl's hot line to report the missing top and the customer service rep. counseled her to return the items along with the receipt for a full refund, despite the fact that Mom had already washed them. We always wash any new clothes before wearing them.

I digress from the problem at hand of the missing cellphone. When my sister arrived at the Tiffany's abode, I noticed a silver cornered cellphone protruding from her pocket while I was doing my huffer puffer. I stopped to ask her if she realized this. "Why of course", she replied. Alrighty then, I thought. Since my Aunt Bea and Uncle Don were coming for lunch, we ordered out turkey wraps as they had never experienced these before. So, off we went to collect them. Upon arriving at the house, my sister discovered that she had, in fact, lost her cellphone. We all traced her footpaths in the house. I asked if she had thoroughly checked Mom's car. "Why of course," she grumbled. My thought was it had probably slid down under the seat, where it is hard to see and locate. Well, she was certain that was not the case. So, we were back to being gumshoes. Where could that cellphone have gone?

Back to the restaurant my sister went to find, no report of a missing in action cellphone. Her puzzler was puzzled. She said she could call her cellphone if she knew her number. I said, "don't you know your number?" "No", she exclaimed, "it's programmed into the cellphone." Well, you got me on that one. Should we call Aunt Bea before her impending arrival for lunch to kibbitz over the missing phone?

I told my sister that I had her number and I would call her cellphone. As I dialed, she checked the bathroom, thinking it had fallen out of her pocket while using the facilities. Oh, no, Colleen is thinking. Been there, done that! Don't want to repeat that at all! Can't say as I blame her. While Helen was checking out the john, I heard mother yelling from the garage. She could hear the phone ringing, but couldn't find it. Was it in my sister's car? No way, thought my sister.

So, my sister made a mad dash to the garage to accompany in the search for recalcitrant hiding cellphone. I rang at least three times until they found the cellphone. I yelled out, "Hello, can you find me now?" I don't think my sister was too amused with my antics at this point. Ah, well, better to have found it-guess where?- under the seat in the car than in the toilet like Colleen's.

When Aunt Bea arrived, I told her of our cellphone caper as she laughed over the craziness of it. Missing top, missing cellphone, what next? No, please don't tell me. I may have to bury my head under my pillow, but then I couldn't breathe.

So, I'll just have to buck up and deal with the next round of events or adventures as I would like to think. I am sure you experienced similar situations as these.

May you find humor in the face of insanity. Either that, or come join us in the insanity pit of life. We have room to spare.

Kids Teach Teachers!

As a teacher, I was always learning from my students. I know that that sounds funny, but it is the truth. Normally, we think that the teachers are teaching the students, but sometimes, it is quite the opposite. Well, here's to the education of teachers. Actor Mark sent these to us. Enjoy!


Kids Are Quick
____________________________________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________

PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST TONIC.

Do you have any funny school stories? I have many, but perhaps one of my most favorites involved a young fellow in my class, who had taken the French Regents. He showed up at my door to inquire whether he had passed or not and wanted to know the answer to one particular question, that had stumped him completely. To accommodate his need to know the answer, I pulled out his Regents exam for him to peruse and he found very quickly the question, that he wanted to know the answer to.

He had chosen the wrong answer and wanted to know what the actual answer was. It involved being optimiste and pessimiste and he wondered what they meant. Well, if you don't know the definition in English, then the French wasn't going to come to you in a bolt of lightening. When the words are similar in spelling and definition, then you have a cognate, as I briefly explained to him.

To demonstrate the meaning of an optimist and pessimist, my teacher friend, Ginni and I explained that if you are an optimist, you see the glass half full. If you are a pessimist, then you see the glass halt empty. Thinking we had given a fairly good explanation about the difference, our young man piped up and said, "What difference does it make as long as there is enough water to drink?" Well, I do believe he had quite the point to make in saying that. So much for being an optimistic and/or pessimistic person. If you have enough of what ever you need, all is well. Can't argue with that reasoning.

So, teacher that I am, had a chuckle that day and learned what difference does it make in life as long as you have enough.

May you have everything you need in life.

A Tribute to our Angel Sheila and her Good Friend.

While I was reading over my blog about our Angel Sheila, I glanced down and noticed there was a comment and I immediately scrolled down to click on the one comment. The comment suddenly appeared before my eyes. It said anonymous, but I beg to differ, you are not anonymous in any sense of that word, you are truly a dear friend, that knew our Sheila first hand.

I started reading and soon realized that the words and letters were bleary. I checked to make sure I had my glasses on. On occasion, I set them down and I can't see well enough to know where I put them, especially if they are on my colorful bedspread. Well, my glasses were right where I put them, on my face. I blinked rapidly as silent, sad tears drizzled down my cheeks, landing on my keyboard.

I thought to myself, self, stop crying, you want to know what Angel Sheila's good friend had to say about her. I read further on and right to the end. All that I knew about Sheila was so surely confirmed by her friend's lovely description of Sheila.

I am sorry that I didn't have the opportunity to meet her face to face, but if I did, I know I would have been greeted by a sunshiny smile and a heartfelt hug. Sheila's friend describes our Angel Sheila to the tee.

Thank you, dear friend of Sheila. You made me weepy, but you gave me back my sunshine, to dry the falling tears.

I extend a tribute to you and our friend, Sheila with this song from John Denver. Please know that I am thinking of you, too. No doubt you are missing your sunshine Sheila, too. My sincere condolences to you.

Please view the sunshine that is our Angel Sheila.

Angel Sheila Giblin Kahl Receives Her New Wings.

Good fortunate smiled down upon me the day that Al read a Neighbors article in the Sun and Press Bulletin by Valerie Zehl. Ms. Zehl invariably writes about amazing people in our area, who triumph over the impossible and Sheila was one of these amazing people.

The touching article stated that Sheila, who had been waiting to have a lung transplant had, in fact, received one from Columbia University as she was a high risk case and Pittsburgh had refused to take her. Her husband, never one to give up or in, drove them off to Columbia University, who would give her a second chance at life.

I read the detailed article with amazement, understanding, and a heartfelt kinship with this lady that I didn't even know. But what I did know was that she and I were walking in the same shoes.

Al kindly tracked down Sheila and Willie Kahl's phone number for me hoping that I would make contact and hear how life can be good again. Well, I did call Sheila and what a gabfest we had over everything, from being sick, to finding clean toilet facilities, the vagaries of life, from our family and friends' reaction to our unwanted illness that plagued us night and day to our plans for the future.

Never once did Sheila feel sorry for herself or ask the inevitable question, Why me? She dealt with the cards she was handed and did it in fine fashion. Sheila spoke lovingly of her husband, Willie, every time we talked and how supportive he was of her. He was with her every step of the way and he was her best, loyalest cheerleader, gently guiding and helping her as no one else could. He was/is the love of her life. And I suspect for him, she was/is the love of his life.

We e-mailed, we chatted, we consoled, we laughed, we planned our next adventures that we were sure were right around the corner, we promised to finally meet each other and we had faith that all would be well for us in the new realm of transplant life.

My last conversation with Sheila touched upon her going back to college and pursuing another degree, her ability to get in her car just to go shopping, her ability to have her freedom back, an enjoyable meal at a restaurant, all the little things and big things that we take for granted. She did not take these for granted and clearly made it plain that she was indeed fortunate in so many ways-new lungs, her family and her friends. She knew what mattered most in life, especially her husband, Willie.

I received an e-mail from Sheila asking if she could come for a visit. I promptly wrote back, please come for lunch, Mom and I will order out, I want us to just sit, relax and do what we do best-chat. Well, a few weeks passed and I thought it was odd that Sheila hadn't e-mailed me back. Meanwhile, I, myself was going through a major change in my life and unfortunately, her visit lapsed from my mind. This past week, her absent e-mail floated to the forefront of my mind and I thought, I shall give Sheila a call.

Unfortunately, my call is too late. Our angel, Sheila, here on Earth has received new wings in Heaven. Sheila was the kindest of angels I have ever met. Her willingness to share her life story to inspire me to seek a lung transplant and her offer of help gave me hope that only a person going through or has been through a lung transplant can give. She is one of my Angels of Hope. I know someday I shall finally meet Sheila and when we do, we will continue on with our gabfest.

I sat down today to write Willie a sympathy card. For me, sympathy cards are so hard to write. I never want the person to feel any worse than I know they already do. So, I stutter, stop, back up, creep forward and finally, somewhere in my heart, I find the words that I need to say.

For Willie, one little part that I wrote was the following-for Sheila, Willie was the permanent smile on the inside of her heart. I had written this for my husband and painted a heart with this and had it professionally framed. But, my saying fit Sheila and Willie's life together so perfectly. I continued to extoll all of his virtues that she frequently told me about, her husband- the love of her life. Well, I do believe, I have found out once again, what love is. It is Sheila and Willie giving each other 110% and being there for each other in a positive way that blessed them both. It is a terribly sad day for us as we know that Sheila is resting peacefully in the palm of God's hand, watching over all of us.

Sheila's incredible strength, will and fortitude will guide me through my lung transplant. She has given me so much, that only a true guardian angel can.

My thoughts and prayers are with Sheila, Willie and their families and friends. Sheila embodied all the goodness in life and shared it without hesitation. In my turn, a part of Sheila will rest in my heart, never to be forgotten as she inspired all of us, who knew her.

Rest in peace, Sheila, for your life's journey continues on with us.

Sheila Giblin Kahl passed away Saturday morning, July 26, 2008 receiving her new wings in Heaven.

I must thank Al for the wonderful opportunity he gave me in meeting Sheila. Without Al's thoughtfulness, I would never had made the acquaintance of the only unique, one of a kind Sheila Giblin Kahl. Thank you, Al. You did my heart and lungs good.

Hello. Hello. Can you hear me now?

A cellphone needs a pocket in my case at all times. I am not use to carrying around the latest in high tech phones, but my cellphone has become my best friend as we await the call of a lifetime. One way or another, I am constantly leaving it behind and there seems to be a correlation between the place that I leave it at and the final ending of the missing cellphone.

Mom and I delivered family photos to my Aunt Bea and Uncle Don from my Gram, who recently passed away, only to discover upon returning home, that my lifeline was left behind on their wooden stand next to their comfy couch.

I called to ask them to please ask their daughter-in-law, Marge to bring it to work with her in Sidney, where we would be happy to pick it up the next morning bright and early. With me it is early, but never bright.

Well, being the sweeties that they are, they drove back over Sidney Mountain to return my cellphone and asked us out for ice cream. I was more than willing to go. They didn't need to ask us twice. So, off we went to the ice cream parlor, where my uncle can get sugar free ice cream. Woo hoo!

About a week later, they called to say that they would be by to pick us up for another round of our favorite tasty treat, ice cream. Once again, cellphone in hand and no pockets, I end up leaving the run away cellphone in the back of their roomy car much to my chagrin. I need a hot pink post-it attached to my forehead to remind me to pick up my cellphone.

As I was eating my hot fudge sundae, I managed to drip some on my seatbelt. I told my aunt that I was worse than any kid she could imagine as I was making a mess. She said not to worry about it because that same day in a restaurant, she had managed to drop some food down into her brassiere and was fidgeting trying to get it out-that's one way to have your very own personal doggie bag, I thought. Well, my uncle noticing her jiggling and wiggling asked her what was going on. She dutifully explained her dilemma. His response was to tell her to wait to get home and he would get it out. Meanwhile, I am roaring with laughter over this one. No flipflop or palm tree leaf for Aunt Bea!!! Uncle Don would be taking care of business.

The two sisters ended up in a "fight" over who was going to pay for the ice cream. After much debate, my mom won the round. As I exited the car, a strand of white hair floated down on the seat and I said to my aunt that her cutie patootie dog, Bud, would be jealous. He has white hair, too and no doubt, he would be curious to know who had been riding in his backseat. Needless to say, I will not be sharing my age-just the thought of white hair puts me in the older category.

Well, be it as it may as my Gram would say, I managed once again to leave that cellphone in the backseat of their car. My aunt rang us from the curb to say that she was returning my cellphone and Bud was in attendance, thorougly enjoying his outing with his parents. Unfortunately, he missed the ice cream. I was howling as I told my aunt she was probably thinking that I purposely leave my cellphone behind, so, that we can have an excuse to go out for ice cream.

After much reflection as what to do with my cellphone, I told my mom that I had a holder for it right on my person and that I would be putting it in my bra. If Aunt Bea can have food in her bra, well, I can have a cellphone in mine.

I said to my mom wait till it starts ringing and everyone turns to look to see where the ringing sound comes from, I will say, "Hello. Can you hear me now?" I immediately called my aunt to get her opinion and naturally, she gave me her approval. So that cellphone of mine will be safe and sound in my personal holder.

If you should have any ideas as to where else I may secure my cellphone, just give me a ring. But hang on, it might take me a few rings to get it out of my special dual functioning holder.

May you never leave your cellphone behind and if you do, I hope that you have a patient aunt and a kind uncle like mine, who will return your cellphone every time and even buy you an ice cream.

What is Love?

Love defies description. I know what love means to me, but I have been wondering how others would define love. So, I am going to put you on the spot and ask you to e-mail at www.mmottarot1@hotmail.com to let me know what your definition of love is. Also, you can contact me at snail mail at 22 Loomis Drive in Sidney, NY 13838.

I would like to share the love findings on my blog. If you would like me to share your thoughts on love, please give me permission to publish your piece on love. I am sure that others are as curious as I am.

Bob C. sent me this and I am passing it along to you. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the pictures to transfer. This was sent to me in e-mail as a forward and I tried to send it to my blog for you to view in its entirety-no luck there, then I tried making a file for it to go to-no luck there and so, I did the copy and paste routine. If you know how I can transfer the whole true love story, then be my luck and let me know. You won't regret seeing the pictures of the 6,ooo steps of love. Perhaps, we will have to make that trek of 6,000 steps of love to discover the real meaning of love. Join me on the steps leading to love. If we falter on our way up, we will have others to support us. Is that love or what? Walk towards love and see where you will end up.




Subject: An incredible love story - how true love should be



An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world.
It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century.



The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple's home for the last 50 years.

Over 50 years ago, Liu Guojiang a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu Chaoqin..



In a twist worthy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that Xu already had children.

At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.. To avoid the market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing Municipality.

In the beginning, life was harsh as hey had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives.

Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, 'Are you regretful? Liu always replied, 'As long as we are industrious, life will improve.'

In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years, to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.



Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps. Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, 'My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day. He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother's convenience, although she doesn't go down the mountain that much.'






The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife's hand even after he had passed away.



'You promised me you'll take care of me, you'll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?'

Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband's black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.





In 2006, their story became one of the top 10 love stories from China , collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

I am looking forward to reading about your love stories like the one you just read. Thanks for sharing with us. As you are willing to share with me, I will share this song with you by Miss. Wynonna herself-I Want To Know What Love Is

True Medical Experiences

Actor Mark sent us the following true medical happenings from doctors just doing their jobs and in the process, uncontrollable outcomes befell them. If your sensibilities would be offended, please don't read #7 and #8, even though they really happened. Every day, we need to laugh, so here's to a few chuckles coming your way. Laugh outloud.

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA


3. One day I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg


4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch. The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA


5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered. 'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-Corvallis, OR



6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while
checking up on a woman I asked, 'So how's your breakfast this morning?'
'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get >> > used to the taste' the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman >> > produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kreansdorf, Detroit, mi

7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which read, ?Sorry, had to mow the lawn.?
>> >
>> > Submitted by RN no name



>> > AND FINALLY.......

8. As a new, young MD doing residency, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry, was I tickling you?' 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'
Dr. wouldn't submit his name.



Luckily, I've never experienced any happenings like these. And you?

If You Can't Fix It, Forget It

Emotions-one word-emotions-says so much. Just how much? Think where your emotions can take you or where they don't take you. Well, this week for me has been a swirling, twirling mass of emotions that has had me on the merry-go-round of emotions to an emotional roller coaster ride that just wasn't going to stop until I derailed. Am I ready for the amusement park or the funny farm? Well, the emotions that I have felt have been sadness, happiness, joy, anger, how can this be??!! feeling, surprise, incredulity, disbelief, and just so much more. All I know that, the one word, emotions can describe so much in one breath. Well, my breath has been taken away, but I am getting it back.

Well, I am not going down, so I have two ways to go-straight up or sideways. So, I am the driver of my own train, so I am choosing to go straight up. So hang on, this emotional chauffeur is going to drive myself right off the emotional road I am on. I realized my jalopy of a car had been sitting and spinning its wheels, going no where fast. I am a fixer. If there is something or someone, who needs to be fixed and helped, then just give me a shout or holler over my roaring engine and I'll come as quick as my tires will allow me.

But those tires have been sitting in the same rut for ten years and my spinning wheels have worn out the macadam road, digging down to our earth's gift-dirt. Oh, boy, I wasn't going to stop spinning those nearly rubber bare tires for nothing. I was on a mission that I hadn't fixed, but by golly- I am a fixer and that's what fixer's do-they fix no matter what the situation is. But this fixer didn't realize there was no fixing in this particular situation and there never would be a fix. So, as I was spinning those well used tires and kicking up dirt, my under carriage was sinking and hitting the ground. My engine was a smoking, coughing and hiccuping from the constant revving, my headlights to no where I was going had burned out long ago and my tail lights had burned out as well, leaving a shady gray past behind. My rear view mirror was slightly cracked and causing a distorted view. Well, my jalopy was just barely functioning. I had run that brand new, sparkling, vibrant car right into the ground. I was headed to China if I kept on spinning those wheels at the rate I was going. "STOP! STOP!," my engine shrieked, whined, begged and finally said," enough is enough, if you don't stop, then you will be stuck here for life-on a worn out, desolate, lonely macadam road bound to nowhere. "

Well, how can you not accept this bit of advice that has kept you moving-albeit not in the right direction because you, the driver have been steering in the wrong direction. Whose to argue with the engine that keeps you running? That swirling smoke had blinded me, but as it dissipated, my view was coming back clearer and clearer. Turn that engine over one more time, drive out of that old rut and head on down that lonely, desolate road to the fork in road. Toss the old coin residing in the crammed, filled glove box and pick the next road you're going to take out of that well defined rut. Yeah, life is a flip of the coin, but don't forget when the road you are taking takes you to no where, you can always flip that coin and choose a new path to try. Make your own new trail, not trial like me. Here's hoping your new road brings you new emotions that are only the positive kind.

The dictionary states that emotion-noun- a strong feeling as of fear, anger, love, joy and so on. AAH, I've felt these all and even more. I embody the word emotions-so hard to control, so easy to change. Our essence is emotions, whether good or bad. Well, my emotions are going to take me where the sun shines, the flowers bloom, the sound of a chirping bird sings, the fireflies light up the night and the stars shine down to guide us. I am ready to finally take a new road that will bring me somewhere, instead of no where. Join me on my new found road.

Betty D., thank you for that one liner that says it all about trying to fix things or people-if you can't fix it, forget it.

Marcia-thank you for listening to my tires spinning and spraying all kinds of emotions-you said it all with JUST LET IT GO !!! Well, it is going, going, gone.

Judi-your straight, forward no nonsense, can do attitude has lifted me more than once in my life. Actually, you have been and continue to be my lifeline, that is worth more to me than a million bucks.

Huck-your outlook on life keeps me laughing, despite the pain-you make me gain where I think all is lost- you are my wonder drug and my drug of choice in life-you are that sweet, kind cousin of mine that I so much adore.

Mom-you still are the wind beneath my broken wings and the gas in my jalopy that keeps my wheels a spinning- I will be filling up your tank to overflowing once I am back on my feet.

Well, Wynonna and I have this thing called, ATTITUDE and we sure do know how to use it. Here's our anthem and we love to share our Attitude. Sing along with your own attitude.

Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall!

My sister, Helen, is an awesome nurse, who takes care of respite children. Her children have special medical needs and she goes to their homes and helps them and their families. She has several children that she works with daily and weekly and they all love my sister dearly.

She has one little blond headed girl that she calls her dolly. Well, she is truly a special child as she has stolen my sister's heart. "Dolly" has a brand new bathroom and pink and green bedroom, that has been built to accommodate all of her medical needs.

My sister tells her all of our old fairy tales and one of them that she tells her little dolly is Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall ......... and when she finishes reciting this old time fairy tale, my sister says, "Dolly, can you put Humpty Dumpty back together again and set him up on his wall? Helen's little one squeals with delightful glee over her nightly rituals of fairy tales.

So, I offered to paint Humpty Dumpty on a canvas for Dolly and of course, Humpty Dumpty will be a la francaise with a French beret. To make the most of creating Humpty Dumpty, I called my friend, Dan, who is an incredibly talented painter that creates the most amazing chef d'oeuvres that you will ever see. I have been so fortunate to have him share his unbelievable talent with me through our teaching years.

Dan would graciously share pictures of his creations with me. I've always felt so honored to be apart of his art world. He has made me original flashcards for my classroom. My students and I have always enjoyed his creative flashcards and I use them all throughout the year. Also, Dan has drawn me many cards and written me such thoughtful letters over the years that I have kept them all. I have been blessed to have traveled through Dan's indescribable art niche.

This year, Dan retired from teaching (an extraordinary teacher, who taught all students that they are all able to create, draw, paint and of course, Dan also taught photography with fantastic results.) to pursue a full time passion in painting. Congratulations, Dan , you are most deserving of your retirement with your lovely wife, Karen and your fabu children.

I own several of his prints and they are each unique and so realistic that you feel like what you are viewing is so real that you are in awe. Dan is the shock and awe of his genre and I mean the shock and awe. Please feast your eyes on Dan's unique paintings that tempt even the most discriminating palate. (palette)

http://www.danielktennant.com/

Venting Ambulance!!

We caused a minor happening in our neighborhood when walkers, drivers, neighbors and perhaps, even skateboarders noticed a yellow and white ambulance in our backyard for a few hours. As you have probably guessed, it was the venting company, who were cleaning out mom's vents with these huge pipes. Probably, the passersby were thinking, boy, look at those oxygen lines. She must really need some air. Whew wee!!!

No, I did not hook up to their venting machines. I tried to stay out of their way, so my line wouldn't cross theirs. Ginni came to check on us as she had heard from so and so, who said there was an ambulance in our backyard and was younger Marge alright?? Yikes, I was ensconced in the living room on the couch, not realizing the commotion I was stirring up.

We ran into our neighbors, who inquired about the ambulance parked behind the house. They were just wondering and were happy to learn that I had managed to escape another ambulance ride. Me too!! Ambulances are not built for comfort. I can attest to this as I've taken several over the past couple of years. But more important than comfort is the ability of the paramedic personnel to save lives every day. I salute them for their daily stamina and incredible skill in saving lives. A "job" that is so important to us all.

May you not need to call an ambulance, but if you do, you know you will be in good hands.

My mom is in a very caring neighborhood and community. We are only 5 minutes from the airport, where Angel Flight will pick us up. And it truly will be, up, up and away.

Impressions!

My nephew, Derrick, the PH Der of the family came to visit us the other weekend with beautiful pictures of his voyage to Sunny Spain, Fancy France and Intellectual Italy in celebration of earning his PH D. He had a wonderful time as he always does. He is so flexible that traveling with him is a joy.

When I came into the living room, I immediately headed towards him to give him a hug and a kiss asking him a bazillion questions about his trip. I was so busy yakking (imagine that) that I did not see the gift that he had brought me. It was a poster board of the gardens at Monet's Giverny in France, of course. I would love to own one of his chef d'oeuvre, but they are not in my price range. However, this was just the perfect gift for me. I started tearing up and poor Derrick didn't know what to do with a weepy willow of an aunt.

I immediately placed my Monet in on my dresser. Actually, his dresser as I gave him all of my bedroom furniture. While at college, he needed a bed, so instead of me storing it, he has been using it. I offered him the rest of the bedroom set when I moved to mom's when he wants it. He thinks he wants to work in Japan, though he had a job offer from Cornell and the possibility of working in Paris at the Louis Pasteur Institute. Being a former French teacher, wouldn't I love for him to work in Paris? Mais, oui;) But, it is his decision. If he decides to go to Japan, mom and I will have a valid excuse to travel there to see him and visit. Right now, he is working at BU in the labs training the new recruits on managing, organizing and doing research in the lab.

My niece, Jessica wrote a heartfelt thank you letter to me for her wedding cube. She said it was beautiful and she can't wait to fill it with wedding photos. Me either. I am hopeful I will be there for their big day. She has been reading my blog and I would like to quote her.

Part of Jessica's letter, "Also, I wanted you to know that I read every single blog you have posted. I think your website is wonderful and I am sure it is inspiring to many. After reading the blogs, I was grateful to see that I was included. I, also, like to hear about what is going on with the family and to hear about your childhood stories. As you know, I never knew grandpa. So it is nice to hear about him and how happy him and grandma were. Many of the blogs made me cry. You have gone through so much and God knows why. As I sit here and think, there are multiple people in this world that abuse their bodies and someone like you, who has not done anything "bad" and you are in the condition you are in. I wish you the best of luck in all of your decisions.

Love always,
Jess

I must say that I was crying too by the end of her well written, sympathetic, empathetic letter. My niece had many obstacles to overcome in her childhood, among them losing her best friend, Shari, in a tragic car accident. We called Jess and Shari the twins. They were inseparable, blond haired, carefree, fun loving pranksters, who were and are as beautiful on the inside as the outside. Our Shari was a part of our family and she is missed by us all.

My niece has put herself through college through her hard work and diligence. I am so very proud of her. No, you may not adopt her, she is already taken by this particular aunt. Our Jess is a one of a kind sweetheart that deserves the absolute best that life has to offer. Cheers to her.

Thank you, Jess. I love you, too. xoxoooxoooxoooxoooxoo


Check out this Monet dilemma. Enjoy!


FAMOUS PAINTING STOLEN A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

Sorry I couldn't upload the pictures from the attachment of an e-mail that I received from my good friend, JoAnne. The pics. were great:(

May you have the kindest and caring of nieces and nephews like mine.

Feel like Venting!

More happenings at mom's abode where we just survived a venting session. Mom called a company to come and clean all the vents in the house along with a cleaning of the central air unit. We have to keep the central air off for a bit as they sanitized it and I can't afford to get sick on the chemicals that they used.

I suspect my mom had this done because of me. When I inquired, she quickly replied, "I haven't had this done in years and it needed to be done." I still suspect that she is looking out for me as only a mom can do. So, our crew of two showed up around 4 and left around 8:30 doing a fine job. Both fellows were very nice and respectful of all of mom's furnishings. Mom and I wandered outside to take a peek at how much dirt had been sucked out of the vents and compressed into this big black box on wheels. What a sight! We were happy to be venting as mom couldn't believe the amount of debris garnered from those vents that needed to vent.

Mom figured there would be a lot of orange colored hair from her and Tiff's beloved cat, Snoopy. Snoopy was Tiff's buddy. They were very cute together. Tiff spoiled Snoopy terribly, even to the point of getting out of bed nightly to feed the cat if he so desired and/or to let him out. They were quite the pair. Snoopy loved sitting on Mr. Tiff's lap. Snoopy was suppose to be mom's cat, but Tiff stole Snoopy's heart-do you suppose it had to do with the midnight feedings as well as the day time feedings? He was truly a spoiled kitty cat, but well loved by my parents. He was extremely smart as he learned how to open the basement door with his paw like a human. If you left a closet door open for even a second, he was inside exploring the contents. Hence, his name Snoopy. He would even jump into open drawers.

On several occasions, mom even managed to accidentally shut him in various closets as she hadn't seen him zip in there. When she would return home, she would be surprised that he hadn't greeted her at the top of the stairs. So, the hunt would begin and invariably, mom would find him lounging in the closet. He was probably tired from exploring the closet while mom was away. Snoopy gave my mom and stepdad many hours of happiness.

Oh, yes I was venting about the vents. Though, I must add an amusing observation that mom and I made about our driveway pavers. This lot of fellows would show up late morning, work for an hour or two, disappear for a couple of hours, then reappear for two more hours and then disappear once again until the next day. Mom was convinced that they would not finish the driveway until next fall as she muttered something about state workers and highways under her breath.

Meanwhile, I expressed my thoughts on the paving crew and company. I told mom that I was walking faster on 5 liters of oxygen than those fellows were working. We had a chuckle about that one. But in all fairness, they have completed the drive and she is looking good, but we haven't driven on it yet. Mom has a sign posted at the end of the drive, ______days until you can park in the driveway, just to remind herself and others. I am sure mom would be venting if someone dared drive on her smooth, black surfaced driveway without giving it plenty of time to settle, thicken and solidify. A tire track would cause her a migraine, no doubt. Can't have that. Mind you I am making this part up as I have no clue as why we have to wait 7 days. I think it is one of those mom things. When it is a mom thing, I just cave in and go with the flow:)

Our driveway looks good enough for those fellows that race for NASCAR. Shall I give them a call and see what mom's reaction to their action might be? Oh, what fun!! I am in the race of my life and I am still on track and looking forward to a new race ahead-my living list. So, look out you NASCAR guys, this NASCAR lady will be passing your rear bumper with the pedal down laughing all the way around the oval track looking to finish first.

Speaking of cars, mom just bought a scad of tickets for the Mustang being offered by the classic car museum in Norwich. If you have not been there yet, it is well worth the visit. They are all beautiful in their own right and a joy to look at and imagine who owned the car and what they were like. Old cars are a slice of our history-an important slice of our history when you think how transportation has changed over the years, but also how our lives have changed because of those 4 wheeled vehicles. Our ability to travel distances in relative comfort is amazing. So, don't forget to thank that metal machine that hauls you and your belongings around. When you have a break down, you then realize the value of dependable transportation.

May you visit our famous car museum in Norwich. Check out their site at http://www.classiccarmuseum.org/ Enjoy the thrill of seeing these classic beauties (not me) up close and personal. Knowledgeable volunteers will gladly answer all your automotive questions concerning these one of a kind cars. Don't worry, my Mustang has her own little museum at mom's. I hope that mom wins her Mustang so that the Marges' can go cruising in Mustang style. Here's crossing my fingers and toes.

In Marge, We Trust.

Well, let me tell you that it isn't a walk in the park nor a picnic to set up a charitable trust that will help our local communities and its residents to have a better quality of life.

Mom and I met with a charitable trust/foundation attorney today, who went over my intended recipients. I am happy to say he approved of my choices and mentioned others that will certainly help our area communities.

I learned today that area food pantries are in desperate need of all types of food, and reading programs are in need of books and upgrades in technology, just to name a couple. So, these have been added to the soon to be charitable trust that I am drafting and implementing as soon as possible.

Mom wanted it named the Mott Charitable Trust that will keep on giving financial assistance to those in need in the communities of Masonville-my birth hometown, Sidney-my hometown of many years as well as Bainbridge. The Mott Charitable Trust will be readily available to finance the needs of these three communities, which have been such a big part of my life.

I am focusing all of my attention and energy on completing this trust in a most timely fashion, so if you don't see me blogging, don't worry as I am busy working for the good of us all.

One of my dreams is coming true with this charitable trust in that it will last for perpetuity. I have drafted a mission statement for the Mott Charitable Trust along with where the funds shall go and how much yearly, along with creating an Advisory Committee that will oversee the distribution of five percent of the trust no matter how much money is in the trust annually.

This is a major undertaking, but a necessary one for me and mom. I don't want her to have to "fuss" over these charitable funds. I want her to stop and smell the roses and enjoy life, thus the trust. She will help oversee it should something happen to me.

I feel at peace in making these life giving decisions that benefit those in need in my communities. Should something happen to me, then I can rest in peace knowing that I have played a small part in making other peoples' lives better. There can be no greater satisfaction than that for me.

If you should think of any other charitable works that the Mott Charitable Trust can do for others in our communities, please let me know as soon as possible, so that I may add these to my growing list. I want to cover as many bases as possible, so that it is a win-win situation for everyone.

Till I see you again, be well and know that I am thinking of you as this Mott Charitable Trust will help us all in so many ways.

Crying Cubes, Happy Cubes and Wedding Cubes!!

So, what is this cube thingy magigy? Is there such a word as thingy magigy? Well, there is now. How creative I am!!! After spending time reflecting upon the important people in my life, I wanted to acknowledge the influence and the support that they have provided me with. So, me being the Queen of the Internet did a little research and discovered this fantastic site that allows one to engrave a message, poem, thank yous, etc. to those who matter the most to you. Well, I became entranced with these wooden cubes, where you have four sides for pictures, but on the top, you can have a personal message engraved or you can choose a verse from many verses that they have available.

I read through these verses, but decided that they were not personal enough, so I wrote all of my own verses for each of my friends, my mom and all the brides that are soon getting married. I had a ball creating these poems and managed to input them into the computer without a mishap. Whew.....!

For my mom, I wrote Right from the start,
Always the mother of my heart,
The wind beneath my wings,
Never will we be apart.

This could not be truer. She is that and so much more to me. Mom has put pictures of us in there when we were children with my dad and another picture of us, when we were older without my dad because he had gone to Heaven. I just love these cubes because I could specifically state how I felt about each individual in my life.

For the brides getting married, I had engraved a wooden cube with their name and the groom's name as well. After all, it takes two to make a couple. The saying I chose for most of them was

Faith, Hope, Love
But the greatest of these is Love. Thank you, Judi, for clarifying this for me.

Then, I added their wedding date. They were just so beautiful in my eyes. As you know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

After receiving my big box of gifts, Mom and I set off to deliver our goodies. Our first stop was my hairdresser, Val, who has kept me looking good in that department for 20+years as near as I can figure. She and I have laughed, cried and commiserated together on every topic that you can think of. She has been a blessing in my life. So, I wrote my sisterfriend, Val, a special poem. When she opened her gift box, she started crying so hard that she could barely read what I had written. Yikes, I thought, this was suppose to make her happy, not cry. Oh my, I thought.

Our second, third, fourth and fifth delivery resulted in the same way. Not good, I mused. Perhaps, it was too sentimental, but when I received thank you cards expressing my friends' deep appreciation, I was happy that I had given them a small token of my thankfulness for their continued support and love. And what great friends I have. They are a blessing to behold, more precious than any gold.

If you find yourself at a lost to find a meaningful gift for family and friends, go to http://www.personalizationmall.com to find reasonably priced gifts that are one of a kind. They have high quality gifts that are unique and personal. Browse this site as there are so many lovely products available for all occasions in your life and those of your family and friends. I've become addicted to this site, especially when there is a sale. I can't resist a deal. Just tell them that Marge sent you. You won't be disappointed. Happy shopping!!!

Celebration for my Niece

My niece, LeeAnna recently graduated from high school, so my sisters and I, threw her a graduation party with all the trimmings. We had tasty pizzas from the red roof Pizza Hut and mild, oops hot wings from a local eatery. My niece chose what she wanted to eat. Thank goodness, she didn't ask me to cook as I can't boil water without having a fire. That is a true story. I could write a book about my kitchen capers that would give Rachel Ray the vapors and then some.

My good friend, Kristine, who is a chef extraordinaire and who graduated from the CIA-not what you are thinking- Culinary Institute of America, made me my own personalized cookbook with no fail recipes tried and tested in her own kitchen for my wedding present. I was so deeply touched by her one of a kind recipe book that was created just for me. She must have spent hours compiling all these delicious, easy recipes so that I could fool my guests most of the time.

When Kristine was staying at my house, she cooked our dinners and packed my lunch for me every day and boy was I in seventh heaven. My waistline wasn't, but my taste buds sure were. Kristine is a super chef with a tremendous amount of talent that she displays daily. I envy her ability to create and when I say create, I mean she can create the most tasty, delectable, mouth watering dishes you can't even begin to imagine until her sumptuous speciality hits your tongue. And then look out because you will become hooked on her cuisine. As I mentioned, I packed on the kilos-it sounds better than pounds, but enjoyable kilos, none the less. Her appetizers, entrees, desserts are objets d'art that you want to admire, but you just can't wait to take your first bite and relish it. Ah........!!!!!!

So, my niece "missed" my fine cooking. Ah....:( But, we had banners, congratulations balloons and a beautiful cake made by our expert cake maker, Phyllis, who supplies us with outstanding cakes for all occasions with unbelievable decorations. She is the miracle worker of cakes. I just love their looks, taste-the frosting is not too sweet, so I don't have to sneak it to the dog to give it a sugar high, and the price is so reasonable for all of the care and work that goes into Phyllis' cakes. She is a gem.

My niece's cake was in her school colors of maroon and white, along with a young girl in a maroon gown with a diploma and a key chain that was a graduation hat. What a neat idea!! It took me awhile to figure out that the graduation cap was a key chain. What a lovely idea. My niece was delighted with her cake, pizza, wings, balloons and her banners.

My sister, Helen bought her a photo frame that was exclusively for a graduation picture with glitter, the year and a graduation cap that was cute. It fit the occasion perfectly. Also, Helen made graduation caps out of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, chocolate covered graham crackers and a myriad amount of colored Twizzlers that served as tassels. They were adorable and of course, edible. What gets better than that??? Not much.

Well, our party for my niece was a great success, but more importantly was the success of my niece, LeeAnna receiving her diploma. Yeah, LeeAnna! She has much to be proud of as we are proud of her accomplishments.

May your food not be cooked by me, but by talented folks like my good friend, Kristine, who is a member of our family and Phyllis, our cake maker beyond compare. Bon appetit et bonne sante!!

Network was Down and So was I!!

I love computers when they are working, but when they are not, boy, what a pain in the neck. Usually, I figure that it is my lack of talent that causes me to unsuccessfully "repair" my computer when she is down for the count.

I tried using the fax machine that I purchased the other day for all of $20 with no luck. I tried everything conceivable, despite not having an owner's operating manual. No doubt, you are thinking what dummy buys a fax machine for 20 bucks without an operating manual. Well, this dummy did, thinking I was getting quite the deal. Well, the seller explained briefly and might I underline the briefly on how the fax machine works. He explained that it was rather simple to run. Has this fellow ever worked with me before? Simple is not in my vocabulary and when he gets done with me, it won't be in his vocabulary either. Well, I need one of those dummy books-Fax Machines for Dummies. After trying to figure out how to operate this miraculously simple machine, I should be able to write that book if it doesn't exist.

Well, let's just say that it didn't work. Notice, I am taking no responsibility for why it didn't work-operator error, perhaps??!! Needless to say, I gave upon this endeavor and headed off to my computer to check on my e-mails, only to discover that my computer was down and out. Did I cause this malfunction because of my fax dilemma or what? So, I tried fixing the computer for about 45 minutes without any success, so I decided to call Frontier and inquire about what I was doing wrong.

It seems that I have kept Frontier in business for the last several years as they hear from me bi-weekly. I should have them on speed dial, but what is the sense, since their number is now permanently etched in my mind. I am sure that they look forward to my calls of please help me, my phone line is full of static, our phone does not dial in, I can hear the caller, but the caller can't hear me, we have no dial tone, our computer is not working, but the phone is, I do believe our DSL is in the slow lane grinding to a halt, it has hit a speed bump and been disabled, our Ceiva is short circuiting and the list goes on and on and on. I am on first name basis with many of the customer reps. Pretty sad, wouldn't you say? However, they are not lonely like the Maytag man, because I am constantly calling.

That being said, after 45 minutes of trying to solve the computer crisis, I called Frontier, only to find out that the Internet system was down and out and so was I. Jeez, I had tried my hardest to get my computer back on line, only to discover that Frontier had us off line for a couple of days. Boy, was I happy I called as I thought I would have to buy the self help instructional manual, Computers for Dummies. Our jovial Frontier rep. confirmed that the fax probably didn't work due to the Internet being down. Guess that proves I wasn't a dummy after all!!

If you experience mechanical difficulties, don't assume like me that it is you, the operator causing the error, just chalk it up to a technical difficulty that you have no control over. Just call NO-DUMMY here and I am sure, you will receive quick, reliable service from India, where you can't understand what they are saying. Just hang up and dial again, you may reach the good ole US of A. Good luck, now!!!

Caring Calls and Caring Concern are a Girl's Best Friend!

Jerry phoned to inquire whether I was out sunbathing or not and I told him I was a sunbathing beauty, who was doing well. We had a lovely conversation and he continues to inspire me with his life experiences. He is one of a kind-the best.

Fred e-mailed to say that I needed to slow my train down, so that he could catch up with me. He has a great sense of humor and keeps me laughing despite my personal woes as we chatted on the phone. His wife is a lucky lady as well as his daughter-in-law, who had a double lung, heart transplant. When he speaks of his daughter-in-law, it is with great concern and genuine affection. She, also, is one lucky lady to have Fred in her life. Since, I don't have a father-in-law, I am claiming Fred as my own.

Bob e-mailed to find out how I am doing in such a graceful manner. He is truly a gentleman, who is unfailingly kind and generous. I've cried on a several occasions after reading his e-mails to me. I've had to install plastic over the computer keys, so that they don't drown from my tears-happy ones at that.

Michelle from CA has been a lifeline for me on many levels-emotionally, computer wise, wisdom wise and so much more. I can't thank her enough for understanding our daily struggles as she also has PH. She amazes me with her can do attitude and her super duper talent in painting. She is still surrounded by smoke, but she carries on in a positive way. What grace and kindness is our Michelle.

Janna Lynn, my cousin, sent a lovely card saying she is thinking about blogging and I just posted her a card encouraging her to go for it. She has been admirably dealing with a chronic illness that she has had for many years now. She is an inspiration to us all. She has a daughter named Hannah, who is, as she said, the love of her life. No doubt, her reason for being. There is nothing like the bond between a mother and her child.

I called my friend, Ginni, this morning to wish her a Happy Birthday, only to find out I was a day early. Hey, better early than late!! Needless to say, she was thrilled. We will be celebrating her birthday at the French cafe that I found in Norwich soon. I can't wait to make her blow out _____candles on all those delicious French desserts that will be calling our names. Oh, what a delight for our discriminating taste buds! I keep inviting more people to come for the French surprise-partie in Ginni's honor. If you are available, come join us. The more, the merrier. Besides, my singing voice is lacking on all levels, so, we could use an enthusiastic crowd to serenade Ginni. She would just love it. She had been a very good friend of mine for 20+ years. She also teaches French and she does a fabulous job with middle school children. She loves them like I do. I was very fortunate to teach with her. Because of her exceptional teaching, her students always came well prepared to me, making my job much easier. She has a heart of gold.

As always, I salute my mom as she daily cares for me, our family and all the extraordinary people in my life. She is limitless in her unconditional love for me and has never waived in helping me and for that, I am eternally grateful. She is a big part of my heart and has been the guiding force in my life since the day I was born. Janna Lynn has it right. My mom has been and always will be the everything in my life. I adore her.

So, I thank you all for your genuine concern and care. My life has been enriched in so many ways by all of you that a thank you just doesn't seem to truly express how I feel. Know that I cherish your kindness. Be well!!

May a card, e-mail, phone call, etc. make you smile from the inside to the outside.

Swat Teams Redo Mom's House!

We have had an exciting week. Ty Pennington would not believe all the happenings in Sidney at my mom's house. My mom has been on a house maintenance spree and look out, because once she gets started, she is like a whirling, twirling dervish.

First, she had her roof redone, only to find out that the rotting plywood underneath needed to be torn off and replaced. We were in Chicago then, trying to determine whether I would be a good candidate for a stem cell transplant using my own cells. So, phone calls were made back and forth. A new roof was installed.

Secondly, Mom discovered that her eave troughs/ gutters were malfunctioning and figured she would need new ones. So, she called a local fellow to get his opinion. He soon discovered that the roofers had allowed all sorts of rubbish to fall in the gutters, causing them to clog and overflow. Oh, what joy in cleaning them out. The smell was enough to knock them off their ladders. Luckily, I avoided that smell and so did mom. Those poor fellows were probably thinking what a way to end their day. The mystery of the overflowing gutters was soon solved. No need for new ones, just clean ones.

Thirdly, Mom wanted the house painted from top to bottom and some inside painting done, too. The swat team of 10 painters made their way around the house 3 times in a speedy manner. They primed, painted the first coat and then the second coat after the house received a power washing that had her gleaming. She looks real fine in her new array of colors. Her dark green shutters sparkle and shine and the white on her front, sides and back stands out like a beacon.

Mom made sure the equipe of painters were well cared for as the day was beastly hot and I was not allowed outside to see the masterpiece until the sun went down a bit. She had all sorts of cookie snacks and cold water available for the morning break. The afternoon break consisted of a variety of ice cream bars. By late afternoon, the painters had completed their makeover and were packing up to head out for the day. We were amazed at their ability to complete the new look in one day's time. My new look will take quite a bit of time, but in the end, it will be worth more than I can ever say.

Last night, the paving man appeared and said they were ready to begin ripping up my mom's driveway, which was in need of repair. So, this morning and afternoon, we heard the sounds of jackhammers, cutting machines, loaders, etc. ripping up the driveway. Oh, what sounds they were. At one point, I thought they were going to do a drive thru through the house, since it sounded like the machine was headed our way. We can't drive or park on the new driveway for 7 days, so our vehicles are sitting happily behind the house along with our new grill and the John Deere green lawnmower. Our storage area is now the back lawn. So, this project will take a few days.

Is there anything else that we need done? Never ask a question if you don't want to know the answer. While I was plugging in my computer, sparks flew out of my mom's outlet. It was a "shocking" experience as I told my mom that we now needed to call an electrician. Luckily, there is an electrician in our family, who is a super fellow with the best sense of humor. He is "electrifyingly" witty and just so nice and sweet. Poor fellow, wait till he hears from us about our sockets going haywire and sparking like the 4th of July.

When the electric charge hit my computer, the computer went belly up and I could not resuscitate it by any means, so I had to call a computer expert, who lead me through the process to revive it. I simply had to pop out the battery and reinstall it, sort of like what they will do with my lungs- a new installation. I hope that it is that easy.

So, more maintenance at my mother's abode. As you have probably heard, you don't own your home because your home owns you. This seems to be the case with my mom. But, I have a feeling we will be in shipshape in no time flat. What else could possibly wrong? Stay tuned because you never know with Marge 1 and Marge 2-the dynamic duo.

May all your house repairs not befall you all at once, otherwise you may have to call in Bob Vila to do a complete overhaul. Yikes!!

Charity, Charity!!

My mom always had this funny saying while we were growing up. She would hear of these stories of money being given away to charity. So, she would say, " My name is Charity and I am more than happy to accept some financial help." We'd giggle about her play on words. In fact, we were pretty poor and I didn't even realize how poor we were. My mom managed somehow to not make an issue of how little we had. I can't even begin to imagine what she went through.

When my dad died, my mom was left with six girls to bring up by herself with no financial assistance from Social Security because my parents worked on a farm and the owners never paid into SS, so mom found herself looking for a job. She didn't have a driver's license, so she had to get one in order to make a living for all of us. She could have applied for welfare, but that was not her style. She found a job at the then Bendix, now Amphenol. She was always grateful to have received a job there to take care of us.

I found out a lot of interesting tidbits about my childhood years and dad the first year that I was so sick. I would tell her, regale me with stories about us as kids, you, dad and the rest of the family on my dad's side. She would say," what do you want to know?".And off we went on the "adventures" of raising six girls with a very ill husband. I think my mom is a saint of the highest caliber and order.

Well, I found myself thinking about the future-can't live in the past, today is the present-a gift and tomorrow is just waiting for us to discover. So, thinking about my current situation with all its possibilities, I am setting up a charitable trust/foundation, so should I pass away (for whatever reason, I don't like to use the word death, dying because it sounds so final, passing away sounds like I am going to another place-Heaven for me, where I will continue to learn and do worthy work to help others), all my monies from various resources will go to local charitable causes that my mom and I have discussed at length.

I will be earmarking monies to go to libraries for computers for the community at large, especially children-I have a particular fondness for them.-They were my life for 22 years of teaching and I adored them all. Fire departments will be receiving money to continue their good works as I was so fortunate that when I needed them, they have always been here for me with grace, skill and compassion-you can not put a price tag on that!

Monies will be left for local high school scholarships in honor of my father and my mother. My dad was into agriculture, so there will be a scholarship for that. Mom always wanted to be a nurse, but her life's ambitions became derailed when she had all of us. So, we decided to create a scholarship to assist anyone going into the medical field to have the opportunity that my mom didn't have. My mom is so inspiring. Other scholarships will be available for those students interested in teaching. My mom insisted on this on my behalf because she knows how much I've missed teaching my kids the last 2 1/2 years. I would cry the first week of school because I couldn't be there with my little cherubs. I would call my kids cherubs. One day, a student asked me what I was calling them. Imagine their surprise when they learned that they were my little angels.

For my beloved stepfather, Tiff, who was a trustee for the village for many years and diligent in finding grant monies to improve the quality of the village for its residents. Mom and I attended posthumously the ceremony dedicating the West Main Street's new sidewalks. Unfortunately, my generous stepfather was not here with us to celebrate what he had faithfully worked on for a long time to see the ending result-his final project for the village. So, I am leaving money to have an addition made to the local nature walking trail in his name. I think he would highly approve of this. Walkers, bikers, skate boarders, babies in strollers would have daily use of this and this would fit well into the plans my step dad always felt strongly about-helping his community to become the best that it can be for its residents.

A special church will receive monies to help maintain it as this church was always kind to us when we were small at the time my dad passed away. I am paying it forward so that they can continue their worthy causes.

Scholarships will be available at Nazareth College in Rochester, NY where I earned a degree in French and Business. My group of friends and I were the forerunners of a degree that is now called an International Business degree. We were ahead of our time breaking new trails and the poor college folks didn't know what to do with us back then. But now, we are truly global, especially with the Internet. I was lucky enough to spend my junior year abroad in France. I want this same opportunity that I had for others.

Monies are being set aside for research-Wegener's, Pulmonary Hypertension , Diabetes in honor of my father and Cancer in honor of my step dad, Tiff.

Angel Flight will receive money to help those who don't have the funds for transportation for a organ transplant. This money will assure these patients the ability to receive their transplant in a speedy fashion.

While I was staying at Albany Med. Inn, my mom had the good fortune of being able to stay at the Ronald McDonald House because they had a few spare rooms. These rooms are kept available for families with young children. Though I am my mother's daughter, she didn't qualify to stay there because I was so much older. My mom would like to purchase a house in Albany near the Ronald McDonald house that is a hop and a skip from the hospital for adults to use while their family member is in the hospital. This house buying is a major undertaking that would be too much for my mom to handle, so I will be calling Ronald McDonald personnel to see if they would be willing to run it. My charitable foundation would pay for the house and then it would be turned over to them to run much like they do already. I am hopeful that this will work out.

I think I've covered all my charitable causes that I feel are important to me and my mom. Since I have no children of my own, I can't think of a better way to dispense all of this money. Over the years, I have received help from a whole lot of people I know and others I didn't know. So, for me, I shall honor these folks, too in my endeavor to pay it forward.

My financial advisor keeps telling me, we hope that you have many years ahead of you and that this doesn't happen right away. I understand that completely, but for me, I have to know that I am taking care of business as they say whether I am here or "there." It is only then that one can truly rest in peace.

If you receive help in your time of need, pay it forward when you are able to. You will never know the exact effect on the person that you are generously helping, but you know your heart and soul will feel better knowing you have helped someone in need.

Blood Draws May Help Others!

Today, I headed off to the local doctor's office for a blood draw that lets me know how I am doing concerning white blood count, liver function, kidney function and any other function you would care to name. All these results are faxed off to Albany Med. to my Dr. Beegle, which I call him the Beegmeister, however, not to his face. It is my pet nickname for him. I have just ordered him what I hope turns out to be a lovely gift for all his care, concern and attention to my medical needs. And boy, am I needy or what?!!! Ambulance rides to Albany, where I know the entry code into the ER by now. I won't tell you how that occurred. I could be the welcoming representative for Albany Med. as I have been on all floors at some time or another. Plus the fact that I know all the housekeeping staff, the aides, some of the nurses and, of course, the doctors.

I am a virtual fount of information. All of it neatly stored in that gray matter called the brain. I know of stem cell research, transplants and drugs that just pronouncing them would boggle your mind. Rat poison=warfarin Yes, I take rat poison to thin my blood, so my heart will pump more efficiently. So far, I haven't gotten caught in the "trap" of being overly sick from all my medications. Thank you!

When I returned home, I heard a man's voice. Hmm...no voice I recognized. The fellow was leaving a detailed message. So, I tried to stop the answering machine, but I ended up causing him to probably have to go to an ear doctor, due to the squealing sound of the answering machine. Yikes, what a noise!!!! I finally managed to stop the horrendous sounds emitting from this supposedly new, modern machine only to hear HELLO, HELLO. Mom exclaimed, " I think there is someone there, Marge." Well, yes, there was indeed a fellow named Doug on the other end of the line calling from UPMC asking me to become part of a study. What study?

How crazy I am? How all the drugs have affected my main organs? How my brain functions on all these drugs or doesn't? I'd rather claim my forgetfulness on drugs than old age any day. Doug was calling to inquire whether I would become a participant in a DNA study. Well, let me tell you that is scary. Who would want my DNA? !!!!! Imagine that. He informed me that in the future, medical professionals would like to match organs by DNA and would I consent to having my blood drawn for this possibly promising avenue of organ transplant. I gladly accepted to participate if I could help others. Meanwhile, I am thinking I am insane because blood draws for me are quite the show. Usually, it takes at least 4 tries to get my blood (Sorry, Mr. Vampire, you are flat out of luck), especially if the blood seeker has never drawn me before. My local doctor, Dr. Paula hits the spot pretty much every time. She is so sweet and kind. I just love her to pieces. Her dad is a local doctor, too. They work together and boy are they cute together. They are both hardworking individuals. Like father, like daughter.

So for the insane instant that I agreed to additional draws, I will be helping others following in my transplant footsteps. If I can help, then my life has meaning. If others like me down the road can benefit from my help, I will gladly help as I've received so much help over the past 2 1/2 years. As they say, what comes around goes around. Is that not the merry-go-round of life or what? Hang on so that the carousel horse doesn't throw you.

May you help others follow in your footsteps in doing for others in need. Your footsteps will lead them to a better place.

Shopping Spree for Me and Mom!

What is the difference between your friendly Home Depot and Lowe's employees? Well, my mom learned very quickly. We had the ads for Home Depot, but not finding a Home Depot in Norwich, we went to Lowe's with our ads. Our helper informed my mom that she had the incorrect paper, which we already knew, but the barbecue grill she wanted was in the Home Depot ad and she wanted to show the ad to the Lowe's friendly helper to see if he could find a grill similar to the ad she had. He was not impressed with our reasoning as he continued to express to my mom that Home Depot's ads could not be used in Lowe's. Alas, ..........

Well, this was too much for him to handle. We were serenaded with the qualities of the monstrous, high end grills that my mom could not even begin to move to the no end grills. These were like a tin can. Needless to say, we decided that WalMart across the street might have what we were looking for in grills.

Mom needed a new dehumidifier for her basement and we were given two sets of incorrect directions in finding the illusive dehumidifier. Mom was starting to worry about my ability to keep walking despite not finding a dehumidifier. I hailed a Lowe's fellow and asked him to stay with us until we found the dehumidifiers and he obliged us.

He was so sweet. He realized that I couldn't keep up with his speed, so he stopped to ask if he should slow down for me. I told him that he was very thoughtful, but he could continue on with mom and that eventually, I would catch up with them as long as I could see their backsides.

I arrived at the emplacement of dehumidifiers and after much discussion, Mom decided on the dehumidifier that she wanted. So, handy dandy, Brock put it in the back seat for us. Yeah! No grill, but we were ready to take on the moisture in the basement.

Off to Walmart to find a grill and oh, what fun as I asked a gentleman, who was intently studying the variety of grills, what he would recommend for a grill and why. Not one to be afraid of asking questions, I listened attentively to his run down on the advantages and disadvantages of each grill. One particular grill was on sale with enamel grates and a side burner that mom wanted to do bacon and corn on. Our expert griller conferred that it was an excellent buy as he had been to the friendly Lowe's across the street. He even offered to deliver the grill to mom's if she lived in Norwich. How sweet was that!

Well, mom decided on this particular grill and we made arrangements for the free assembly. We also purchased an empty propane gas tank, but was informed by a WalMart employee that we could not have the tank in the store while we were looking at phones to purchase, so that my mom could have 21st century technology. We needed the update for my call from Pittsburgh for you know what. Meanwhile, the employee took away our empty tank and said we would have to pick it up on our way out. WalMart has a policy to forbid tanks in the store due to a possible explosion. I realize it was near the 4th of July, but mom and I had no intention of celebrating in this fashion at all. So, off the employee went with our tank only to discover that it was empty, so another employee returned it to us. Yikes, what an ordeal. I am sure you are thinking, "Boy, am I glad we didn't go shopping with those two gals."

So, we managed to find our new, modern phones that we could barely understand how they functioned along with a bluetooth for my mom. Directions we need!!! Lord knows, we will be calling Europe by accident, but that is O.K. with me as I miss my France and her neighbors. I'll be back as Arnold Swartzingneager (sp.) proclaimed in one of his movies. I can't wait to go back and I shall. Give me new lungs and I am gone, gone, gone. But, you can come along, long, long.

Mom went to collect her car to drive it up to the door for me and all of our asundry purchases, only to find that I had set off the store alarms as the clerk had not taken the theft repellent devices off the phones. Meanwhile, mom had her head stuck in the back seat arranging our purchases as Joe yelled for her to bring him the receipt for the phones, gas grill tank, etc. My mom was so busy strapping in the dehumidifier with its own seat belt, she couldn't hear him. So, I told Joe that I would collect the much needed receipt from my mom and off I went.

Back I came with the proof that we had indeed purchased all the items in our shopping cart. Joe had to fill out paperwork, signing it and dating it. Why didn't they just take a mugshot? With my prednisone face and body, I am quite the sight. Not to mention, a oxygen cannula that is a prominent part of my face. Well, Joe managed to help us load our remaining products in the car. My dear mother strapped in the propane gas tank in the backseat with its own security belt. The dehumidifier and propane gas tank didn't stand a chance of going anywhere. Mom said that if we were to have an accident, she did not want me or her to get whacked in the head by these flying objects. I wholeheartedly agreed with her.

We stopped to fill the propane tank. I told mom that we should have taken a picture of me on oxygen in the front seat along with the backseat filled with a filled propane tank and dehumidifier strapped in. We concurred that others would think we were nuts. We had a great laugh together. My mom is the best. I love her dearly as she makes me laugh daily. She has such grace and strength.

My expedition to Lowe's, not Home Depot and Walmart was the first time I had been in a store in two and half years. What a way to celebrate!! Clerks chasing after us because of a possible explosion, setting off alarms, encountering helpful clerks and making mom's car safe for our ride home. Am I done with shopping? Heck no, I am just getting started. Turn me loose and who knows what will happen next at Home Depot, oops-Lowe's and WalMart. I'll bet the clerks will go and hide when they see me coming.

May your next shopping expedition be as fun as mine.

This Train has Left the Station!

Wonderful Wendy from Frontier came Saturday to hook us up. I am dragging my mom into the 21st century with new phones with call waiting, caller ID and limitless call time between states and a blue tooth. Wendy said she needs to go to the dentist and get her tooth whitened. Poor mom.

For the past 10 years of my life, I've been living a high energy drama and I realized that if I was lucky enough to survive a lung transplant that I needed to have a quiet, peaceful and stress free life as much as possible. So, this caboose of mine is making new tracks as I am legally separated from my soon to be ex-husband pending the divorce decree.

At the time I was going through this, Betty M. had sent me the following train of life poem that fit my current situation perfectly. I am going to pass this along to you in hopes that your train is on the right track. If not, then join me in changing your tracks that lead you to a better place and life.

Enjoy this train ride- the ride of your life. Thank you Betty M. for reminding me that I am the driver of my own train. I have so many new tracks to explore and I can't wait.

http://www.lindwa.com/Train.htm

Blog Alert!

You won't be hearing from me for a few days as I am moving to my mom's in Sidney. Our Frontier fellows and the lone Frontier female, Wendy will be installing DSL wireless at my mom's. This will be done on Monday. Then, I'll be back chatting away. Meanwhile, be good to yourselves as I am being good to me.

Have a safe and happy Independence Day.